The UK press has widely reported the story of a philandering husband who gave diamond jewellery to his wife every time he cheated on her.

Quite a collection was amassed by the cuckolded wife during their 26 year marriage leading up to his death in the 1970s.

The jewellery was handed down to their only daughter who recently put the 43 items up for sale at auction in Salisbury, raising an impressive £286,000 (or put another way, £6,650 per indiscretion).

The stand-out piece is a necklace featuring 54 diamonds which sold for £60,000.

You can read the full story as reported by the Telegraph here or in the Mail here.

It sounds like the wife was quite a forgiving woman, but it made me think about what a diamond actually represents and how this philandering chap has taken a bit of shine off the meaning the word diamond.

The gift of a diamond – or more likely a piece of diamond jewellery – stands for something.

It most often represents love and a timeless commitment of one person to another, most obviously expressed by the gift of a diamond jewellery engagement ring.

In this context the gift of a diamond says, “I love you“, emphatically not, “I cheated on you and I’m sorry“.

If you want to say you’re sorry then chocolates and/or flowers would be more normal, but it seems that this wife wouldn’t settle for chocolates or flowers. She wanted to really make him pay, quite literally (she was apparently well aware of what was going on), so the businessman husband had to stump up a piece of diamond jewellery on the dozens of occasions when he played away.

But this is a long way from the message that a diamond is meant to convey when given by one person to another, and it in fact it undermines the romance and commitment that is normally associated with a diamond.

Diamonds can have other meanings too. They don’t have to be given or received; instead they might be purchased, owned and worn by a woman without the involvement of any husband/partner.

These diamonds can represent status, accomplishment, beauty, happiness or wealth. And to be fair, the wife from this tale might have loved wearing the diamonds given to her by her cheating husband, making her feel radiant with accomplishment or status or beauty or whatever.

But I’m not sure about that – these pieces were costly and many were of some vintage, dating from the late Victorian and early Edwardian eras, so they weren’t exactly everyday wear. Somehow I can’t see her wearing this jewellery regularly and getting much satisfaction out of it, especially knowing what she knew about its provenance rooted in betrayal of their marriage vows.

Of course the motivation and meaning behind diamond jewellery is a matter for those involved rather than the rest of us, so we shouldn’t be too judgemental and precious about what a diamond means.

Nobody owns the image rights to a diamond, nor is a diamond trademarked or protected in any legal sense (except in a narrow technical trading-standards sort of way).

Long-held tradition and the marketing people at De Beers (of which I was one for some years…) and a handful of other diamond/jewellery companies have had perhaps the most influence over what we understand a diamond to represent, but in the final analysis a diamond is whatever generations of diamond givers and receivers decide that it should be.

Our perception of diamonds is shaped by all that we have seen and heard about diamonds over the years, and also by our own personal experience of giving or receiving diamonds together with our experience of being adorned by diamonds.

Probably the most resonant thought about diamonds in our collective wisdom is the De Beers advertising slogan, A Diamond is Forever, coined for De Beers back in 1948 by a copywriter called Frances Gerety at the advertising agency N. W. Ayer & Son. It’s still used very effectively as the finishing thought in diamond advertising such as this.

Ian Fleming took up the theme in 1956 when he published the fourth novel in his James Bond series, Diamonds are Forever, something echoed by Shirley Bassey in the song which accompanied the movie of the same name in 1971.

Meanwhile Marilyn told us breathlessly that Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend in 1953, and much later Nicole Kidman reminded us of the same thing in Moulin Rouge in 2001.

But it’s the De Beers slogan that has endured as a popular expression of the meaning of diamonds, to such an extent that it’s practically generic throughout the diamond business these days – no longer recognisably a De Beers property but something which is universally associated with diamonds.

I think a part of its cleverness and success is its singularity: A diamond is forever, not just any diamond or diamonds in general, but a diamond, the diamond… your diamond.

If Frances Gerety had anticipated Ian Fleming and scribbled down Diamonds are Forever instead of A Diamond is Forever, I don’t think it would have worked nearly as well or endured as it has for over 60 years.

But I digress. The businessman who gave his wife diamonds each time he cheated on her – apparently 43 times or more – was not giving diamonds in the same spirit which would be suggested by tradition and by popular culture. His diamond gifts were apologetic, guilt-trip diamonds – they had little to do with forever.

That’s not his problem – he’s long gone – but it’s a bit of a shame for the rest of us, and for the diamond.

What do you think? Tell us! Feel free to comment below.